We’re in pursuit of a long-term transitional housing prograM

Without Stable Housing, Survivors Are at Greater Risk of Returning to Their Abusers

While emergency shelters can offer a critical lifeline, numerous obstacles stand in the way of survivors finding or keeping long-term, safe, and affordable housing. Many survivors have endured financial abuse—stripped of access to money, barred from employment, or left with damaged credit due to the actions of their abuser.

There is a clear and undeniable link between domestic violence, homelessness, and housing insecurity. Time and again, survivors cite the lack of safe, stable housing as a major challenge when attempting to leave or stay away from an abusive environment.

Domestic violence remains one of the top drivers of homelessness, particularly for women and children. Studies show that over 90% of women experiencing homelessness have endured severe physical or sexual abuse, and 63% report being survivors of domestic or sexual violence.

Survivors often face additional hurdles such as housing discrimination due to the behavior of their abuser, and their safety concerns may limit their housing options. Moreover, many housing support systems unintentionally create barriers that prevent survivors from accessing the help they need.

JOIN US IN ENVISIONING A FUTURE THAT PRIORITIZES TRANSITIONAL HOUSING FOR SURVIVORS.

Let’s not accept outdated systems that no longer serve those most in need. The time for change is now. Let’s build a new model for safety, healing, and hope.

BY: TERRY B. HUGHEY

AS A SURVIVOR

Why Do Victims Return to Abusive Relationships?

As a survivor of both domestic violence and sexual assault—someone who remained in an abusive relationship for years—I want to share what I believe are the top five reasons why many victims return to their abusers, often more than once.

I’m not a licensed therapist, psychologist, or counselor. I speak solely from my lived experience and the countless conversations I’ve had with other survivors along the way. I’ve walked that road myself—returning multiple times before finally breaking free. What I share here is not clinical, but it is real.

Before diving into the reasons, it's important to understand that abuse affects people from all walks of life. Survivors aren’t all living in poverty or relying on public assistance. Some grew up in violent homes—others didn’t. Many survivors are women, but more men are affected than most people realize. Children and elders, too, often suffer in silence.

What we all have in common at the beginning is this: we don’t always recognize what we’re experiencing as abuse. We’re unfamiliar with the patterns and cycles of manipulation, control, and harm. And by the time we do, we’re already deeply entangled—physically, emotionally, and often financially.

Here are five of the most common reasons survivors return to their abusers:

Lack of Resources
Many survivors have no financial independence. They may be unemployed, lack access to housing, or have no control over bank accounts or income. Without a safety net, the idea of leaving feels impossible.
Leaving Can Be Life-Threatening
It’s not just hard—it’s dangerous. Statistics show that the risk of serious harm or even death increases when a victim tries to leave. Fear becomes a powerful tether.
Children Are Involved
Survivors often stay for the sake of their kids—believing it’s better to keep the family intact or fearing they’ll lose custody. Sometimes, children are used as leverage by the abuser.
Society Reinforces Toxic Loyalty
Our culture often romanticizes “ride-or-die” relationships or promotes silence and loyalty at all costs. Survivors are made to feel ashamed, judged, or blamed for not “sticking it out.”
Hope for Change
Survivors may hold onto the hope that love, patience, or time will transform the abuser. They remember the good moments and believe that, with effort, things could get better.

Understanding the “why” is the first step toward empathy. And empathy opens the door to change. Let’s keep listening, learning, and working to break the cycle.

Every Survivor Deserves Support—No Exceptions

No matter your situation or how many times you’ve tried to leave, you deserve to be heard, supported, and respected in your journey. Every survivor has the right to make their own choices and reclaim control over their life—on their terms, in their time.

You are not alone.
There is help available.
And the RUFS Foundation is here to walk alongside you every step of the way.

Whether you’re seeking safety, healing, or a fresh start—we’re here to help you find the resources, support, and strength you need to rise.

BY: CHERYL M. HUGHEY

Sexual Assault in the United States

Adult Sexual Abuse

Sexual Violence Knows No Boundaries—And Neither Do We

At RUFS Foundation, we believe that every survivor—no matter their race, gender, orientation, or identity—deserves compassion, advocacy, and support.

Sexual violence affects people from all walks of life. It does not discriminate—and neither do we.

🔹 1 in 5 women and 1 in 26 men in the U.S. will be raped in their lifetime
🔹 Nearly 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men have experienced contact sexual violence
🔹 Over 50% of female rape victims were assaulted by an intimate partner
🔹 52% of male rape victims were assaulted by an acquaintance
🔹 Nearly 50% of multiracial women and more than 45% of American Indian/Alaska Native women have experienced sexual violence
🔹 91% of rape victims are female, and 9% are male
🔹 In 8 out of 10 cases, the victim knew the perpetrator
🔹 Approximately 8% of rapes occur in the workplace

These numbers represent real people—mothers, sons, colleagues, neighbors. Survivors are everywhere. And they deserve to be seen, believed, and supported.

RUFS Foundation stands with survivors. Always.
We’re here to help you reclaim your power and walk with you toward healing and hope.

Child Sexual Abuse

We’re Committed to Equipping Parents—Because Children Deserve Protection

At RUFS Foundation, we believe that awareness is prevention.

We are committed to educating parents, caregivers, and communities so they can recognize the warning signs of abuse and respond with love, support, and immediate action.

Sexual abuse can begin early—and in silence. Many children are too afraid or confused to speak out. That’s why it’s critical that adults know what to look for, and how to respond in a way that validates and protects the child.

🔹 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before turning 18
🔹 30% of women were between ages 11 and 17 when they experienced their first completed rape
🔹 12.3% of women and 27.8% of men were age 10 or younger at the time of their first rape
🔹 More than 1 in 3 women raped as a child are re-victimized in adulthood
🔹 96% of child sexual abusers are male; over 75% are adults
🔹 34% of abusers are family members
🔹 An estimated 325,000 children each year are at risk of commercial sexual exploitation
🔹 The average age of entry into child prostitution: 12–14 for girls and 11–13 for boys
🔹 Only 12% of child sexual abuse cases are ever reported to law enforcement

These numbers are not just statistics—they’re stories waiting to be heard, and lives waiting to be protected.

We’re here to break the silence.

We’re here to empower families with knowledge.

And most importantly, we’re here to protect our children.

RUFS Foundation will help you recognize the signs. We’ll teach you how to respond. Together, we can be the safe space our children need.

We’re in pursuit of a long-term transitional housing prograM

AS A SURVIVOR

Sexual Assault in the United States

Adult Sexual Abuse

Child Sexual Abuse

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